Patrick, Squidward, and the Snowman
by Escape-At-Midnight
Summary: Patrick just can't seem to make a snowman. Maybe he'll need a little help from a certain neighbor.


"Dang it!" Patrick Star yelled. He was trying to make a snowman, and the snow was _not _cooperating. If only his best friend, Spongebob Squarepants, were here to help him. But unfortunately, he had to work today.

"Okay," Patrick said, wiping the sweat off his forehead, "This time, _this time, _I'll get it." He attempted, for the fourth time, to make the first snowball.

"Why does it have to be so hard?"

He had tried making a snowball (a snow cube, really) and then rolling it on the ground to make it bigger, but nothing was working. Suddenly, he was struck with an idea. He could just go down to the store and get a snowman mold! They had those plastic things that you pour sand in to make a sandcastle, right? So why not one for snowmen? Patrick dashed to the Bargain Mart.

Patrick was becoming very annoyed. Where were those darn molds? They had to around here somewhere!

"Excuse me, sir?" A clerk whose nametag read 'Lacey', asked, "Is there something I can help you find?"

"Yeah, uh, _Lassie,_ do you know where the snowman molds are?"

Lacey looked puzzled. "The what?"

"Snowman molds! You know, like those sandcastle molder things?"

"Sir, I don't think those exist," Lacey explained.

Patrick sighed. "But how am I supposed to make my snowman now?"

"I don't know, take a class?" Lacey said sarcastically.

Patrick's face lit up. "That's a great idea!" He rushed out of the store to find a class.

He decided to go to town hall and ask about snowman making classes.

"Quick! I need a class!" Patrick yelled at the clerk at the front desk.

"Alright, what kind of class are you looking for?" The clerk asked in a bored voice.

"A snowman making class."

"Um, sir, we don't have those. In fact, I've never heard of a class that teaches snowman making."

Patrick grunted. "Well, I can't make a snowman, and I'm _going _to, one way or another!"

"Sir, I'm sorry, but we don't offer those," the clerk said with a "what an idiot" eye roll.

"Fine," Patrick huffed, and then made his way back to his front yard.

_What to do now? _Patrick thought.

"Ugh! Stupid snow!"

Squidward sighed. This had been going on all afternoon. Really, how hard was it to make a simple snowman?

"_AH-HA-HA-HA!" _Patrick wailed.

_That does it! _Squidward thought. He ran outside to give that annoying sea star a piece of his mind.

"Alright, what's with all the-"

Patrick was rolling around on the ground, sobbing hysterically in typical Patrick fashion.

"Um, Patrick? Are you okay?" Squidward asked.

"I, I, I can't make a snowman!" Patrick bawled. Typical Patrick; being worked up over something most people wouldn't even give a second thought about. Still, Squidward couldn't help but feel a little bad for the guy.

"What if I helped you?" Squidward asked, shocking even himself.

Patrick immediately stopped his blubbering and beamed. "That'd be great!"

What had Squidward gotten himself into?

"Patrick, put that wheelbarrow back. It won't help us any."

Patrick pouted, but did as he was told.

Now, Squidward wasn't normally a violent person, but he was about ready to seriously slap Patrick. It had been two hours, and still no snowman. Every three seconds Patrick would go pick something up that made no sense whatsoever.

"Hey Squidward, what about this?" Patrick suggested, holding up a screwdriver.

That was the final straw. "Alright Patrick, just come here and stay here!" Whoa, that sounded much nicer than Squidward had really meant for it to.

"Ugh, fine. I'll watch your mediocrity," Patrick said. Squidward just ignored that comment.

"We'll start by making a small snowball on the ground." Squidward demonstrated. He made a snow pile on the ground, and then started to make the base of the snowman.

"OH!" Patrick exclaimed, "I get it now!" Patrick did exactly what Squidward had just done, only his snowball turned out to be a snow cube. "What the heck?! Why does this keep happening to me?!"

Squidward was suddenly struck with an idea. "Just leave it Patrick. It will make the snowman unique."

"Is that good?"

Squidward smiled and nodded. "Very good. You think you can make a triangular head?"

Patrick nodded. "I'm sure I could." And he did. Squidward wondered how it was possible that Patrick could make all these snow shapes, but not a regular snowball. But he didn't ask. Patrick was happy, at least.

"Okay, I got it," Patrick announced. "Now how are we going to get these stacked?"

"We'll lift them up. On three." Squidward and Patrick got ready to lift the cube onto the snowball. "One…two…three!" They lifted it up. Wow, this thing was really heavy! But how could it be? It was just snow! It took some struggling, but they got it on.

"It looks good so far." Squidward said. "Now let's get the head on."

After a 3 count, the two lifted up the triangular piece of snow and put it on top of the cube. After it was on, they stood back to admire their work. It was strangely beautiful. A real work of art. Definitely unique.

"It's beautiful!" Patrick cried, as if reading Squidward's thoughts.

"It sure is," Squidward said with a smile.

It was amazing how such a cold season could warm such a cold heart.


End file.
